18th
A Gamer’s Confession
Guy: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Father: What have you done?
Guy: Eleven years ago I told my 5th grade classmates I beat Tiger Helli with one life. But secretly, I used Game Genie, and used the Infinity Lives option.
Father: This is sad to hear.
Guy: There is more, Father. Seven years ago I proclaimed a secret passageway in Mario Bros. that had never been found to impress Vicki in English class.
Father: Did such a secret passage actually exist?
Guy: No Father, I lied. And alas, Vicki believed me an expert, and did give me nookie.
Father: This is most disturbing. But there is more, I can tell. What troubleth you most, my son?
Guy: But three days ago I created a fake account on XBox Live to team up on awesomeguy89, my sworn enemy on Halo 3.
Father: My son, you have done egregious wrong. You must play three Atari games for three hours straight each, and promise you will never use the word “gay” when insulting a player online ever again.
Guy: But Father! Is that really so deserved?
Father: It is, my son. That is, if you desire to save your soul.
Guy: I do. Thank you Father.
Father: Bless you, my son.
