7th
What it’s Like to Die
During a quick nap I had a powerful dream that made me feel what it’s possibly like the very moment you die.
In the dream I was standing alone outside at night. I turned and saw a concrete staircase that reminded me of a staircase just outside a condo where I used to live. A sudden, overwhelming feeling of loneliness washed over me as I looked down the staircase. Then a small gust of wind pushed me back. I struggled to stay on my feet but it was as though something was pulling me down. I crossed that point where you realize you’re not awake but actually dreaming, but that didn’t stop my confusion over what was happening. As I stumbled backwards I hit the cement hard, and even though I felt the force of the impact flow through me, it didn’t hurt like I expected a crash to the ground would. I wondered why I had fallen and the first thought was that I was drunk. But that didn’t make sense, since I knew I hadn’t been drinking. All the while some kind of force is still pulling me backwards until at last there was darkness. Then I awoke.
Based on this experience, I would guess that death probably feels like falling, or being sucked into a vacuum of some kind. The thought occurred to me when I awoke that our physical bodies are all that seperates our souls from the other dimension of reality. It’s like our space suit, in a way, that keeps us safe from being pulled away. But the important question is, when we die do we fall or are we pulled? Is death something like a mundane occurrence akin to waves crashing on the shore, or is there something more intentional? It’s like, when God winds your clock, does he sit around patiently waiting for you to stop on your own accord based on your own health or misfortune, or does he extend a hand and unplug your circuits himself whenever your time comes?
